Togo.

I woke up in a completely faily mess tbh. My phone charger lay in tatters on the floor, I had bruises all over me and for some reason I was huddling myself to a carton of pineapple juice. I turned on The Internet and began to inspect the carnage. It was awful. Liz had posted these photos online, for a start. My phone being out of action I began the trek up to the city centre for a new charger with a lettuce in hand, taking large bites out of it all the while: I was still drunk. I'd even managed to convince myself I was Togo while on the phone at the party. Enough on that.

I'm still writing the essay I never stop mentioning and moaning about, although procrastination has reached new heights. I just went and alphabetised the contents of my fridge.

Today's main source of amusement has been the terrible thread created on the BBC's Have Your Say website, asking people to discuss the Ugandan bill on the death penalty for gays. However, being HYS, full of some of the country's biggest cretins, sitting posting their fetid wankery, the debate descended to depths further than even the Ugandans themselves were probably having.

Gems include:

"No I don’t think that homosexuals should be executed, but neither do I think they should be put on a pedestal either, it is a controversial condition that is regarded with disgust by many heterosexual people which I don’t believe homosexuals fully realise, I think they should be allowed to get on with their own lives but they should respect the sensibilities of heterosexuals."

Yes, you utter tit, they should respect the sensible people advocating their murder.

"The death penalty - no. Just pay more taxes than hetros."

Imagine that bill coming through the post.

“Homosexuality is not natural. It makes me very uncomfortable when you consider what it involves, although the death penalty is probably a little harsh."

Probably.

That's all from me for now, I can't bring myself to continue writing after that utter horror. The song of the day is Xiu Xiu – All We Ever Wanted Was Everything. I don't expect you to like it.